In theme with this month’s focus on love and self-care, let’s talk about romantic relationships. We, as women, are always taught to crave these as a source of joy, fulfillment, and support in our lives. But they can also take a toll on our mental health. Relationships always come with such highs when falling in love and lows when communication fails and conflict arises. This can deeply impact our emotional well-being and we find ourselves looking for relief. But how does this begin to happen? It’s important to recognize the signs of the emotions and thoughts that arise from a relationship and impact our mental health more than they let on.
Love on the Brain
What are the signs that a romantic relationship is affecting our mental health?
- Toxic Dynamics: In toxic relationships, constant criticism, gaslighting, and emotional manipulation can lead to feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and depression. It’s important to question the motives of every conversation if you begin to feel like your relationship can be defined this way.
- Conflict and Stress: Relationship conflicts, whether frequent or intense, contribute to heightened levels of emotional distress. Unresolved conflicts lead to feelings of frustration and anxiety. Ignoring these problems in the beginning and avoiding tough conversations lead to resentment.
- Low Self-esteem: Constantly feeling undervalued or like you are begging your partner for the bare minimum can lead to self-doubt. This insecurity and feeling of being unloved results in a diminished sense of self-worth.
- Codependency: Relying heavily on your partner for validation ( or vice-versa) and a sense of self-worth creates a feeling of loss. The loss here is autonomy and individual identity. This can lead to a lack of independence and feelings of suffocation, anxiety, and like you are not worth anything without your partner.
- Isolation: In some relationships, particularly those characterized by controlling or possessive behavior, women may become isolated from friends, family, and support networks. This isolation can create feelings of loneliness, depression, and helplessness.
- Gaslighting: This form of psychological manipulation where one partner denies or distorts reality to undermine the other’s perceptions can have severe consequences for a woman’s mental health. Being made to doubt your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can lead to confusion, self-doubt, and a twisted sense of reality.
- Lack of Support: In relationships where partners are unsupportive or dismissive of your emotional needs, you may feel invalidated, unheard, and unsupported. A lack of emotional support leads to more feelings of loneliness, isolation, and powerlessness.
Healthy love
A loving and supportive romantic relationship should positively enhance and impact your mental health. Through emotional support, a supportive partner can increase feelings of happiness and belonging, adding more to your life. Healthy relationships foster resilience, boost self-esteem, and encourage personal growth. A romantic partner is meant to provide a source of comfort, reassurance, and fulfillment.
It’s important to remember that you have the agency and control over how to navigate these dynamics. Learning the skills to guide yourself into a thriving romantic relationship before jumping into one is essential for fostering a healthy partnership. Taking the time to understand your desires and boundaries ensures that you enter into a relationship from a place of strength and self-assurance. Investing in yourself and your personal growth is the first step toward creating the kind of relationship you deserve.
Essential relationship skills
- Open Communication: Foster open and honest communication with your partner, sharing your thoughts and needs openly and respectfully. Have the tough conversations and don’t avoid the hard feelings. This is key to developing a culture in your relationship where you talk and resolve problems as they arise.
- Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries in your relationship to protect your emotional well-being and autonomy. Whether it be about family or social media, communicate your boundaries assertively and respect your partner’s boundaries as well.
- Practice Self-care: Don’t forget about yourself when you fall in love. Prioritize self-care practices that feed your emotional, and physical well-being, like exercise, mindfulness, hobbies, and spending time with your friends.
- Seek Support: Look for support from a therapist or counselor if you’re experiencing mental health challenges within your relationship. Professional guidance can offer valuable insights and more strategies for navigating difficult situations.
- Individual Growth: Stay true to your identity and pursue personal growth outside of your romantic relationship. Cultivate your interests, hobbies, and goals independently, while also supporting your partner in their pursuits.
- Conflict Resolution: Learn healthy conflict resolution skills, such as active listening, empathy, and compromise. Approach disagreements with curiosity and a willingness to understand your partner’s perspective, not coming from a place of jealousy and judgment. This cultivates respect for each other and your feelings.
Getting into a relationship can be all too consuming for women and our mental health. This is why we have to help each other remember that we are our person first. Working on self-love and validating ourselves is more important than jumping into a relationship. Seeking validation from a relationship will never lead to a healthy situation. This is why we must prioritize intentionality and self-awareness. Stay aware of the warning signs, evaluate your personal goals, and don’t settle for less. Look into therapy options such as ACT and CBT to cope with navigating this situation. We are here to help at Lightwork.
You deserve a relationship that nurtures your mental health and enhances your overall quality of life.
Here are some additional resources you can reference to help navigate romantic relationships and mental health:
- NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness offers comprehensive resources for individuals dealing with mental health conditions, including how to discuss mental health with a partner and understanding the impact of relationships on mental health. They provide guidance on disclosing mental health conditions within a relationship and the importance of mutual support and understanding.
- American Psychological Association (APA) provides insights into maintaining healthy relationships, emphasizing the significance of communication, mutual respect, and support. While the specific article link was not accessible, the APA website generally includes resources and tips for fostering healthy romantic and interpersonal relationships.
- Johns Hopkins University outlines twelve elements of healthy relationships such as independence, equality, support, and healthy conflict resolution. They also offer quizzes and resources for evaluating relationship health and provide contacts for confidential and non-confidential support.
- Headspace offers practical advice for building healthy romantic relationships. Their guidelines cover good communication, respect, safety, and equality in a relationship. They also emphasize the importance of setting boundaries, maintaining individuality, and ensuring consent and trust in a relationship.
These resources can provide valuable guidance and support to individuals looking to understand and improve their romantic relationships and mental health.
